Stories: Neighbors
Shortly after I had left my heterosexual marriage of 16 years and had come out as a Gay man in 1993, I found myself chatting with Julie, a colleague in the telecommunications documentation group in which I worked. I had been in touch with an Internet community of Gay fathers (my daughter was born in 1984) and had been impressed by one of the stories I had read there. One of the Gay dads, who, with his partner, had young sons, related how his straight neighbors, also parents, had been anxious about their own children spending time (including sleepovers and camp-outs) at a household headed by two Gay men.
The story had a happy conclusion: the straight neighbors had come to realize that their kids were safe at their classmates’ home and that their neighbors were “normal” neighbors!
I told this story to my friend Julie, who I knew to be intelligent and—at least superficially—supportive of my coming out, although somewhat conservative socially and politically. I knew that Julie and her husband were raising two young children, a daughter and a young son. Julie’s response to hearing my story moved me deeply and has stayed with me for all these years: “Hugh, before I knew you were Gay, I could have had the same reaction as those neighbors. But, not now.”
I realized at that moment the incredible power of our coming out.
